Confession

Hi, my name is Morgan and my Mom recently passed away from Cancer. Not only was she my mother, she was also my best friend. The one I told everything to, every single thing about my life. Since she got sick, my anxiety has hit an all time high and some days I'm not sure how to control it. Every day, I'm afraid I'll get another phone call saying someone else I love has died, EVERY DAY. I was the daughter who worried about her mother going to the bathroom alone because I thought someone would break in the window and steal her. And with moving half way across the United States, we weren't together anymore. she was sick, in the hospital, without me. Yes, she had other family there but I feel like no one could take care of her the way I wanted to. Sometimes I feel like if I never left home, she never would have gotten sick. Even though I know it's not my fault because people don't give other people cancer like that, but still, I was way over protective of her. I wish I could go back to the week she was in the hospital and never leave her side. I didn't want to leave her there by herself but I had to. And when I got the phone call saying she was dying, I wanted to be there to hold her hand during her last few days/hours/minutes/seconds of her life. I would give just about ANYTHING to go back and have that chance. Some days I have a really hard time because I called her 50 times a day. I ran my phone bill up constantly just talking to her about nothing! She's missing out on everything. Her grandkids, her NEW granddaughter that will never have the chance to meet her and know who she's named after. She is supposed to be here, with me, and these kids, but obviously God had a different plan and I'm not so sure I approve of it............. Hi, I'm Morgan and I'm mourning the loss of my Mother.